As parents, we all want what's best for our children. We want them to be happy, healthy, successful, and free from danger. But we may not always know what it takes to make these things happen. Here's a list of conventional and not-so-conventional tactics that are proven to make your child stronger on the inside - where it counts most.

At first, some of these ideas may seem a bit more than unconventional. In fact, you might even think me to be in need of serious help in even suggesting them. But, let me ask you a question:
"If a parent is doing all the "right" things - the things that should affect their child in a positive way - and that child is still lacking in strong qualities like confidence and positive self-esteem...

...what do you do?"

By this point in your life, you've probably learned one of the most important lessons there is; and that is that: Things are not always what they seem. And often, you have to be able to see the "big picture" to be able to get the results you want. For example...

If I were to ask you if you would allow someone to thrust a piece of sharpened, cold steel into your child's body, you'd probably say "no." And, as well you should.

And yet, parents routinely take their children to medical clinics every day to have that precise thing done. Because, if they didn't, they run the risk of their child contracting some of the worst illnesses known to mankind.

Teaching The Lessons That Last a Lifetime

If you really want to help your child to develop an inner strength that will take them far in life - if you want to do everything you can to help them build the kind of rock-solid, inner strength that will allow them to live the life they choose, and to not be targeted as easy prey by the bullies, predators, and manipulators of the world, here's a few things you might want to be doing:

  • 1) Help them find their passion. If your child shows an interest in something, no matter how strange you think it is, try to support it. This will teach your child that his interests are important, even if only to him.
  • 2) Let them fail. That's what I said. There is a lot to learnn from failure. Ask any successful person because they've done it a whole lot more than anybody else! As long as the failure will not cause loss of life or be unsafe, let your child experience failure. This will teach her that some things are a challenge and the importance of commitment to worthwhile things. It also allows them to feel the overwhelming sense of pride in accomplishing something that required work.
  • 3) Make them earn things. Ownership of something is never taken as seriously as when we had to work hard to get it. This holds true just as much for children as for adults. This will teach your child the value of self-reliance and the importance of goal-setting to get what they want.
  • 4) Walk tall and don't complain. Nothing conveys a sense of pride, confidence, and leadership like good posture and an upright stance - both inside and out. It will be difficult for your child to feel confident and strong on the inside when he walks around with slumped shoulders, bowed head, and shuffling feet. And nothing screams "victim," like constant complaining. If yoou do these things, fix them. You can't tell your child to not do something they see you doing all the time. Walking tall and seeking solutions are hallmarks of leaders and strong "individuals." Oh, and by-the-way, these things also signal to a would-be bully or other attacker that your child just might be able to protect themselves.
  • 5) Tell them that they're strong, confident, and other obvious things. This way, your child will learn to talk to themselves this way. Often, the only things children here are corrections and comments when they've done something wrong. Don't praise your child when they've excelled - do it when they are just being them! This teaches them that they don't have to build a Taj Mahal or paint a Mona Lisa to be recognized - that they're good and "okay" just "being themselves."
  • 6) Get them involved in martial arts, dance, or some other study. The martial arts, as-well-as other forms of artistic expression and skill development, offer more than physical activity. They offer a means of learning self-discipline, focus, respect, and many other of the important life skills needed for success. And, while I'm talking about activities...
  • 7) Make your child finish what he or she starts. Far too many parents allow their child to start and quit activities again and again. And then, they complain about all the running around they're doing, or can't understand why she wants to drop out of school. They ask, "where did she learn it was okay to quit?" Umm... mirror anyone?

Many parents counter with things like...

"I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do." To which I say...

"BULL!"

I bet these same parents "make" their child do at least a half-dozen things every day that, if left to his own preferences, he wouldn't do. Things like wiping after using the toilet, brushing his teeth, and a whole bunch more. In fact, using my analogy at the beginning about getting your child their shots...

Does it matter that your child doesn't like it? Does it matter that they cry?

Probably.

Did you do it anyway?

Of course.

Why? To be mean?

Absolutely not.

Because, as their parent who loves them, you were looking after their well-being - you were making decisions for them that they were not capable of making for themselves.

Our children are just that, children. Until a certain age (in their late teens), they will choose to do everything based solely on pain or pleasure. That is, unless they are guided. As adults, we know why some things are important that our children are clue less about.

Instead of giving in to laziness (theirs or ours), temper tantrums, or any of the other tactics they will try to get "their way," you'll feel a much deeper sense of pride and accomplishment knowing that you had a hand in creating that strong, dependable, and confident leader that will be your child in the years to come. Sure beats the alternative of "hoping" that they turn out "okay." Doesn't it?

Are you a concerned parent looking for ways to help your child deal with bullying in school and other areas of his or her life? Can you feel the anguish that they're experiencing? Well, if you're like me, and scores of other parents dealing with the same thing, the answer is... "Of course?"

Let me ask you a question then.

"What the hell does self-defense have to do with your child beating the crap out of a bully?"

I know that that sounds brash, strong, and even a bit low-class? But... it's nonetheless true!

You see, I teach people how to not get beaten, broken, or killed by others who believe that violence, in any form, is acceptable in getting what they want. And, if your child is the target of bullying, those responsible believe that they can get away with directing their aggression at your baby. But...

That doesn't mean that you have to become a fighter to be able to do that. Sometimes it has more to do with who you are, how you present yourself, and the signals you send to a potential attacker, as to whether or not you're chosen at all!

You and I both know that these same bullies - the ones targeting your child - by-pass a ton of other kids in the process. However, I know something that you may not. And that is that martial arts training can teach your child the important, life-changing lessons that will allow him or her to be able to beat the bully - often "without" fighting at all.

And here we are at my question again. I'll lighten the intensity a bit, but I want you to think about it for a bit. Ready?

"What does your child learning martial arts or self-defense have to do with them beating up the bully?"

The reason that I ask the question is this...

A lot of parents, teachers, and school administrators believe that if your child learns to defend him or herself - if they take up the study of martial arts and learn self-defense skills...

They'll become fighters and be just like the bully.

I'm confronted with this belief and oppositional mindset almost every day.

And, to this I say...

What a load of crap!

Again... I know, I know... too rough.

But, you know what... if I tone this down and apply the same "political correctness" that allows bullying in schools and elsewhere to exist... then I wouldn't be able to help you and your child solve this problem nearly as well. And that, is the truth!

To this objection about martial arts and self-defense training - about empowering the victim, rather than hoping to reeducate the bully - I say...

"So, you'd rather have your child targeted, humiliated, and even beaten, instead of being someone the school bullies are afraid of, and others know they can go to for protection?"

"Would you rather whine, whimper, and "bully" the school, the government, the police - sounding like a victim yourself - hoping that someone else will fix the problem. Or would you rather take the shortcut and give your child the tools that are proven to change the game and make not just "these" bullies go away, but...

...every bully they could ever encounter... for the rest of his or her life?!"

The fact is that most kids who are being picked on, bottle up the frustration, anger, and anxiety - and they hide away until they can't do it anymore - until they literally "explode." Then, one of two things happens: they either explode outwardly and, when they do lash back at the bully, they go WAY overboard. Remember the scene from the movie, "A Christmas Story," where Ralphie turns on the bully and beats him bloody and senseless on the ground? Or, how about Columbine, where two kids lashed back so violently that they went on a shooting spree until they finally turned the guns on themselves!

Or, the ones who don't, explode inwardly and self-destruct, either emotionally or, in many cases, take their own lives - believing that, "This will teach 'them' a lesson!"

So? What does this have to do with martial arts or your child learning how to defend him or herself?

Simple.

The simple fact is that the martial arts, while teaching students how to physically defend themselves from physical attacks, also teach them how to 'deal with violence and aggression.' So, instead of becoming aggressive - instead of learning how to "beat the crap out of the bully," as many believe, your child will develop a sense of calm, in the face of bullying and aggression.

And, they will also develop a sense of confident, disciplined presence - a look of command in their eyes that is a major "Stop" sign to any potential bully.

Do you really want to stop the bullying that your child is experiencing? Do you really want to relieve them of the pain, suffering, mental anguish, and fear of another day dealing with bullying in school, or where ever he or she is experiencing it?

Do you want to see them develop the ability to beat the bully 'without' fighting - to be able to defend themselves if they have to, without becoming that which they fear most?

Then, I highly recommend that you take a serious look at getting your child into a solid, professional, martial arts for kids program. Seriously, it could be the best anti-bullying program you could ever find!

Isn't it time that your child learned how to really defend themselves against bullying in school and everywhere else? Isn't their health, self-confidence, and well-being worth getting real solutions?

How?

By learning what really works to stop bullying behavior, and by giving your child the tools that do just that!

anti-bully, dealing with a bullyBullying is not new. And with the coming of the internet, it has taken on an even grander reach than ever before. But, when it comes right down to it, bullying is the same, no matter how it's delivered. But, the strategies for defending yourself or your child against the effects of bullying must match the "type" of bully if they are to be effective.

This article explores the 3 bully "types" and how they relate to you or anyone who is being bullied. Because, unless you understand the nature of the assailant, and what's behind his mode of attack, you really can't expect to be very effective.

I know that last statement may sound strong - it may sound too much like warfare - but it is, nevertheless, true. And the reason it's true is because...

Bullying is an attack!

It's an attack on your person, either mentally, physically, or emotionally.

And, until it's treated as such - until a victim or potential victim of a bullying attack, whether it's bullying in school, or bullying in the workplace, is given the proper tools and skills to deal with this type of attack - there will be little to nothing done to stop bullying.

This is true regardless of the popularity or believe-ability of the anti-bullying program being sold!

But, my purpose in this article is not to discuss what's wrong with most anti-bullying programs. My goal here is to shed some light on the 3 distinct types of bullies, and their methods, as-well-as to show you how this information relates to you or any victim, on a very personal (and usable) level.

The 3 Bully "Types"

There was a time when "bully" meant the kid in school who threatened to beat you up if you didn't give him your lunch money. But today, the term is understood to identify anyone who uses force, or the threat of force, to get what they want.

Well... almost.

The 3 types of bullies that one is likely to encounter include:

Physical Bully - This is the person that I referred to above. This is usually a male, but in some cases can be female. This is the person who seeks out smaller, "easier" targets where they know that they have the advantage of size, strength, or power. The fist is the preferred weapon of this bully and, in order for the victim to survive, he or she must learn how to handle physical violence.

Mental/Psychological Bully - This is the person who resorts to name-calling, insults, intimidation, and other tactics meant to demean, belittle, or insult the victim's intelligence, confidence level, or self-esteem. These bullies are typically female, but again, can be males as well. Words are the preferred weapon of this type of bully and, a higher degree of self-confidence, presence, and self-worth are needed to beat this bully.

Emotional Bullies - While it's true that all bullying effects the victim emotionally, what I'm talking about here are the bullies who use our own emotions against us. They make us wonder if it's us - if we misunderstood what's going on - or if we are the victim of a self-serving, manipulative, and cunning "friend." These are the bullies who use what we normally see as positive things against us. Things like friendship, love, and our relationship to them. And, the courage and commitment to set fair boundaries and rules within a relationship are the primary weapons for dealing with this very dangerous type of bully.

Just as bullies choose their victims based on the characteristics of the victim, the bully also chooses how he or she will attack based on his or her own make-up and belief about themselves. So, a larger, stronger, and more physical person will naturally choose physical intimidation and assault over getting into a psychological battle of intellect and wits with a smarter person. And, an emotionally stale individual will tend more toward manipulation of your emotions rather than being more obvious with mental or physical attacks.

Although it's true that there are no hard absolutes, and that the above is only a guide, there is something that you can bet on. And that is the fact that, if you or your child are the target of a bully, that you have already been assessed by them, and been identified as someone over whom they have the advantage. And, that there is something about you that is not only triggering the bullying...

...but there is something about the way you react that feeds the bully's sense of control and satisfaction.

Just like with the cases involving muggers and criminal assailants choosing victims on the street. You never find the aggressor looking at a superior person - a defender who is stronger, better prepared, etc., as a target. That means that you'll never see a smaller mugger looking at a larger, armed, or trained victim thinking, "I'll attack them. They can kick my butt!"

So, how does this all relate to you or your child? The point is that if you are being targeted with bullying activity...

That you are exhibiting traits and signals to the bully that, for them, says that you are an easy target. And, responding the way you do, gives the bully the power, and the "permission" to continue to do it again. To fix the problem - to really make the bullying stop - you will need to either change the way you carry yourself, or you will need to change the way you relate to the bully altogether.

The truth is that, as long as there is a benefit - as long as there is value - for the bully when they do what they're doing; as long as their are no consequences that they can't live with, then they will continue to do what gives them power over you or your child. To change the game, you must change the ROI, or "return on investment" for the bully.

Regardless of whether you see the new options, or this different way of doing things, as "you" or not!

Isn't it time that you and your child learned how to really defend yourselves against bullying in school and everywhere else? Isn't your health, self-confidence, and well-being worth getting real solutions?

How?

By learning what really works to stop bullying behavior, and by developing the skills that do just that!

Are you a parent looking for something that actually works to teach your child how to deal with the bully in school? Well, you're not alone. In fact, more and more parents are turning to the martial arts as a way to stop bullying from effecting their children. And, contrary to popular belief, the right program will not turn your child into an aggressive fighter.

If you're looking for a guaranteed method to both empower your child with the skills for success, and the ability to make the bully look elsewhere for an easy victim, this article will give you several reasons why martial arts for kids could be your best hope. I mean, isn't that what you're looking for after all?

Now, you might think that because I am a tenth degree master-teacher of the martial arts, that I have a biased opinion about the benefits of martial arts for kids. But, I can assure you that is not the reason at all. In fact, it is because I was a bullied child whose parents tried everything before allowing me to join martial arts, that I saw the benefits and how the lessons changed my life...

sunbury selinsgrove martial arts classes, martial arts classes for beginners,That I went on and became a master-teacher!

Very different, don't you think?

It is because of the transformation from shy, backwards, frightened victim; to confident, disciplined, and directed leader that bullies stopped attacking me. Not because mommy bullied my teachers and the school principle into doing something about the problem!

And this is the key to creating a situation where your child will know how to deal with a bully - know how to stop bullying. The fact is that, a good, solid program, centered around teaching martial arts for kids, will teach your child lessons, and give him or her lifelong benefits that just can't be bought or obtained anywhere else.

Here are just a few of the benefits that your child will get from a professional martial arts program designed specifically around the needs of children:

  • They will learn how to deal with a bully without fighting!
  • You will see a marked increase in confidence and self-worth!
  • Your child's posture, and therefor their presence will improve - sending a very different signal to would-be bullies
  • And, if they cannot avoid conflict and must do so as a last-resort...
  • Your child will have the skills and confidence be able to defend themselves and protect others against a physical attack that would otherwise have left them beaten, broken, or worse!
  • In short, your child will go from being a victim of bullying, to the strong, reliable, and successful man or woman that you've always wanted them to be!

If you are serious about helping your child, and to stop bullying from effecting him or her, then you owe it to both of you to get help that has been proven for centuries to do the job. How do I know that martial arts will help your child?

I don't. Not for sure.

But what I do know is that the result of my parents enrolling me into martial arts for kids, turned the frightened, bullied, and beaten boy that I once was...

Into the person whom his family, friends, and loved-ones can look up to and rely on today!

Think about it.

Is that what you want for your son or daughter?

If so, then you must stop relying on the programs that only want to change or punish the bully. If you want to stop bullying from effecting your little one, then you must give him of her the lessons that really create change!

And, you must act now. After all...

Your child's future is at stake!

Are you ready to give your child the lessons and tools that will really show them how to deal with bullies and stop bullying? How? By understanding that much of what is currently being taught in most of the so-called anti-bullying programs simply doesn't work!

martial arts for kidsHave you ever thought about why some kids are bullied and others - many more in fact, are never approached by the bully? As a former child-victim of just about every bully in my school and neighborhood - I did. And, after literally recreating my life with the lessons that actually work, I discovered something very powerful. I discovered that the very thing that is most lacking in victims of bullies, is the exact same trigger that the bully is looking for!

The focus of this article is on those traits and characteristics that set victims of bullying behavior apart from just about everyone else! What I want to share with you today is the answer to the age old question...

"Why is your child the victim of bullies?"

And, regardless of whether it is because your son or daughter is...

  • Different
  • Shy
  • Quiet
  • Weak
  • Gay
  • Sensitive
  • Fat
  • Skinny
  • Or whatever.
  • It just doesn't matter.

And the reason that it doesn't matter is this (are you ready for a lesson that will be the most difficult to swallow, and may even make you stop reading this article right now?)...

The fact of the matter is that no one is required to "like" your child. Oh sure, we're all taught to accept one another's differences. But does that really change anything?

Not really.

On the outside maybe. But then, all that changes is that most of us "choose" to not say or act on the thoughts we have about others whom we consider to be...

  • Funny-looking
  • Strange
  • Retarded
  • Stupid
  • Or any other descriptors that we use on a regular basis - but never speak out loud.

The reality of the world is that there will always be those who do not filter their thoughts, words, and actions - there will always be people who believe that, to get what they want, it is okay to use force, or the threat of force to get it!

"But, I can hear you asking, "what does this have to do with the kids who aren't being bullied?" Why am I talking about your child, and the thoughts that you have about others?

And here is the point. The point is that, neither you, I, or any law ever created can really stop those who really want to act out in harmful, destructive ways.

And that goes for bullying too!

No amount of re-education, punishment, or attempts to reason with people who "want" to bully, is going to stop bullying.

And, this is where the solution lies...

It doesn't have to!

No. Because, if we could just see beyond the fact that it's "our child" who's being bullied, we could see that the vast majority of kids in your child's group...

Are NOT being bullied!

And, the reason for that is two-fold. First, there are certain traits that the bullies are looking for, that your child not only possesses, but displays openly that attract bullies to them. And...

The way that your child responds to a bully's advances tells the bully that he's found what he needs - a victim.

So, why don't most kids have to deal with bullies? It's because they do not exhibit the traits and signals that bullies are looking for, and when someone does approach them with bullying behavior...

They don't respond in a way that makes themselves an accomplice to their own bullying!

They possess the one trait that is virtually guaranteed to make any bully look elsewhere. And that trait is:

"Confidence!

If you really want to make it so that your child knows how to deal with a bully, you must start with the heart-breaking task of accepting that your child displays the signs that predators are looking for. You must discover why they believe the bully's attacks on them are real, and hurtful.

And then, you must be courageous enough to take the action necessary, either on your own or by getting outside help, to give your child the tools, lessons, and skills necessary to stop bullying from "effecting" them. Even if that means enrolling your child in a program that teaches martial arts for kids because the bullying that your child is dealing with is raw aggression and physical violence.

Let me say it again...

It doesn't matter if your child is any of those things that I listed before. What matters is their response when someone makes fun of that thing. Because, if they are secure in their "shortness," like the way they look, or are really okay with being "who" they are... I wouldn't be talking to you about your child.

And, remember also that, it doesn't matter if you don't want your child to fight. If they are attacked physically, by a bully now, or by a criminal assailant later in life - and they haven't been given the tools to "not get beaten, broken, or killed," that's EXACTLY what's going to happen to them! It's not about "fighting."

"It's about "surviving" - mentally, physically, emotionally, and at their core!

If you do not deal with the reality that, even if you stop bullying from touching your child now, that the same traits that drew previous bullies, will attract others later on when he or she is in a different school, in college, or on the job, you are living in denial, ignorance, and dependent on others to make the problem go away.

The truth is that you will never be able to stop bullying from occurring in the world. Never.

But, you can take very real, and very effective steps to ensure that bullying - and the effect of bullying - does not touch your child in a way that does any real harm!

Are you ready to give your child the lessons and tools that will really show them how to deal with bullies and to stop bullying? How? By understanding that much of what is currently being taught in most of the so-called anti-bullying programs simply doesn't work!

In the spirit and tradition of the Warrior, regardless of the culture or era, there has always been a common thread - a common ideology - which has guided the men and women who have chosen this path. Through all of the philosophical expressions and explanations about "engaging the world," "overcoming limitations," or "protecting self and loved ones," the path of the warrior has always involved one very special quality: the giving of self for the benefit of others.

Of course, there are those who call themselves warriors, and certainly live up to common perception and simplified definition of the term which implies "engaging in war, or conflict." But, the true warrior sees beyond their own ego-centric sense of self to the greater good and always uses the skills of violence and destruction as a last resort. Only after all other options have been exhausted, or the situation dictates that it is the only course of action, does the enlightened warrior fight.

Let us always be reminded of a long history passed to us by those who have given the ultimate gift, the gift of life, so that others may live in peace and comfort. Use the life stories of those who sacrificed the easy road of lackadaisical living for one of service. For, as the Japanese warrior teacher and 33rd Grandmaster of Togakure Ninjutsu, Toshitsugu Takamatsu once said, "No one would willingly choose to be a warrior - to choose to get up early in the morning and train for hours in cold, chafing armor, while others lie warm and sleeping next to a lover..." It is a heart-felt drive to do what must be done. To do what others can not or will not do.

This gift, or sacrifice, is rarely given with an expectation of a return or reward for the warrior. No, he or she gives of themselves, not for reward but, because they can. It's what they do. It's who they are.

At my own dojo ("training hall"; lit. "place where enlightenment takes place"), as with many other traditional martial arts academies that focus on this warrior ideal, we have an established set of beliefs and values that, together, express the heart of a warrior. It defines "us" and is a reminder for our staff, students, family members, and others. It is who 'we' are and what 'we' hold to be important in our world. Here are our Belief's and Values:

Without loyal clients, friends & family, nothing else matters

Our most valuable assets are our staff and our vision

There is great strength in numbers & what the world needs is more individuals who are powerful, confident and in-control of themselves and their lives

We are experts in the field of self-protection and personal development. That's it. That's what we do

We will strive to constantly improve our products, facilities, programs and services

We provide a support group and central meeting place for like-minded individuals seeking to unlock their untapped potential

There is enough lying, illusion and self-serving manipulation. We will always be honest with ourselves, our clients and our world

There is no purpose for warrior skills aside from the protection and security of life

Warriorship is much more than fighting for trophies or the job
of a soldier - it is a mindset and a way of life

Our corner of the world will be a better place because we arehere
Not only will our client's lives, homes & families be safer and happier, but our community as well because we enable our staff to serve with compensation

Life is Short

Dream Big - Play Hard - Laugh Often - Live Free - & Be Happy!

A moral code of action - a set of beliefs and values, when driven by and expressing the warrior's heart, is not only a set of beliefs or rules to follow, it is a promise. A promise to not only achieve one's goals, but, to help others and to leave the world a better place than we found it.

So, what are your belief's and values? What guides your Warrior's Heart?

 

If you're serious about women's self defense training, regardless of whether the training is for you or for someone else, you must approach the subject with knowledge and clarity. Without these two elements - the clarity about what it's like to be the smaller, weaker person, defending against a larger, stronger attacker coming at you with hatred, rage, and contempt...

...and the knowledge of how to use what you do have to bring the attacker down, quickly, easily, and with the least amount of wear-and-tear on yourself in the process.

The problem, however, with most martial arts and self-defense programs is that they don't make any distinction between self defense for men and women's self defense training. And that, is a dangerous problem!

If you're a woman, and your serious about getting effective women's self defense training, you must make sure that the program you're considering is either:

1) Designed with women in mind, or...

2) Taught using principles and concepts - not rigid, unchangeable techniques.

I know that this sounds obvious, but it bears pointing out: You are not a man!

Again, I know how obvious that sounds, but there is a lot of understanding that you will have to recognize and develop under neither that apparently simple statement.

The point here is this...

You should not be learning techniques that require you to need as much as, if not more, in the way of size, speed, or strength - as that of a man. Your training should not have you "muscling" anything to make it work.

If it does - run! Don't walk - run away from that school, that program, and that instructor.

If the techniques, strategies, and tactics that you're learning are not teaching you how to do what you need to do, and be effective, with as little effort as possible...

...if you are not learning to "fight smarter - not harder," then you need to find something else. Because...if you have to struggle to make a technique work in class, with someone who isn't really trying to hurt you - seriously - then how are you going to be able to survive an attack from a brutal male assailant who has size, strength, and the element of surprise in HIS favor?!

self defense for women, self defense classes for women, rape prevention tactics, martial arts for women, martial arts classes for women

3 Powerful Self Defense for Women Tactics

While some experts would debate whether or not self-defense training is or should be different for women, one only has to look at the facts to see the truth. These facts come in the form of crime statistics and reports that detail, not only the fact that a woman was the target of the attack, but also "how" and "why" she was attacked.

In addition to the fact that women will inevitably have to deal with many attacks that are less likely for men - attacks like...

1) Being slapped instead of punched

2) Being pinned and immobilized to be taken advantage of sexually, instead of being restrained for additional assailants to punch, kick, or bludgeon

Women also have at their disposal, a few techniques and tricks that just won't work for us guys.

I mean...Can you imagine a man...

1) Lifting or opening his shirt to expose his chest?

And yet, this unexpected move on the part of a female defender might just give her the time she needs to distract her would-be assailant before following up with a more permanently disabling move.

2) Using his purse as a weapon?

What purse, right?

I talk about this powerful tactic in my courses for women all the time. However, unlike other instructors, I don't have a woman go through her purse to inventory the contents as though each were a potential weapon. The truth here is that, if it's not already in your hand ladies, you're not going to be able to use it. However, I have seen what women put in their handbags and my advice them is...

...just use the purse!

3) Offering to let the assailant have his way with you?

I don't know about most of you guys but, unless I'm in a prison environment, which are not in my short OR long-term plans...

However, using the possibility of sex as a tool, regardless of whether the attacker was looking to rape his victim or not, could be a means to get him to drop his guard, or at least to get him into a different position where his strength and size are easier to deal with.

What I teach students in my articles, books, videos, and live programs may not be terribly popular with many people, but it doesn't change the fact that this is the way things are. And, if a woman truly wants to survive a dangerous attack, then she might want to add these suggestions to here little bag of tricks. They may require her to put her "princess-side" on the shelf momentarily, but I'm sure every women can muster just enough "she-devil" to do the trick!

Do you want to learn a few simple knife defense tips that might help save your life during a violent attack? If so, read on.

Some of the most dreaded confrontational situations that you can find yourself in are ones in which your opponent pulls a knife on you. When a knife appears in an attacker's hand, the stakes are instantly raised.

What knife defense techniques should you attempt, then, when you see the glint of light reflecting on a sharp blade? You might only have an instant to make a decision and the wrong one might be the last one that you ever make.

Tip Number 1:

Try to diffuse the situation while gaining distance. Sometimes a situation can get out of hand for everyone involved; there are times when even the one with the knife knows that things have gone too far.

Step away from your opponent slowly, try to lower the tension by means of conciliatory dialogue.

But don't turn your back on your attacker; you want to know where the knife is at all times because if you don't know where the knife is, it is almost impossible to mount a successful knife defense against it.

Tip Number 2:

The best defense might be a strong offense in many situations, but if tip number one fails to work - if your opponent can't be reasoned with - don't think about defeating your opponent, think about getting away safely.

That's right, the best knife defense is a safe escape. Remember, you can't do any of your cool moves if you are close enough to cut you easily!

Rather than attempting to grapple with or strike your opponent, focus on your body movement; on maneuvering yourself away from your opponent's knife; on unbalancing your opponent; on placing yourself in an advantageous position to flee.

Tip Number 3:

Use your environment to your advantage. Try to distract your opponent to give yourself a chance to escape or, if that fails to work, to protect yourself. An upturned stool can work as a simple, effective means of knife defense to help keep those slashes and stabs at bay.

Is there anything within easy reach that you can quickly pick up and throw as a distraction without taking your eyes off your attacker? Train yourself to recognize them so that you always have something to use.

Tip Number 4:

If you have no choice but to attempt a knife disarm, remember that complex, fancy techniques will probably be ineffective at best and get you stabbed at worst.

Pay close attention to your opponent's body language, because it often betrays movement before it has a chance to happen. Consider, though, that it takes training and experience to effectively read these sometimes subtle signs.

Don't go for the weapon, wait until an anticipated attack has been initiated and try to neutralize the hand and arm holding the blade. If a disarm fails, don't fumble around, trying to make it work. Instead, quickly disengage and regain your distance.

You'll notice that I have not written a step-by-step guide on how to actually attempt a knife disarm here. This is because knife defense disarming techniques are not things that you want to attempt after only reading an online article about them. Beware of practical-seeming disarming techniques that look good on paper, or in online videos, but don't work in real life!

To learn effective knife defense techniques you should seek out a qualified instructor with hands-on, real world experience in dealing with knife-wielding aggressors. Don't settle for less, and don't put your faith in luck to save your skin.

Effective knife defense and self-protection requires more than just a few "karate moves." It involves the ability to think strategically, and understand how to defend yourself with as little wear-and-tear on you as possible.

Are you a woman looking to learn effective, reliable, and practical self-defense? The truth is that, in the world of women's self-defense training, there is a lot of misunderstanding about what you need to know to survive. But, one thing is certain, if you really want to be able to survive a brutal attack, you had better be clear about where the threat may come from, and from whom!

In other articles about women's self-defense and having the ability to defend yourself against bigger, stronger, and intensely determined attackers, I have talked about having the proper attitude, and developing the survivor's mindset. To have the right attitude, you must be able to see the value in yourself, and be committed to surviving an attack - no matter what.

In order to develop the proper mindset, you must be able to identify the actual, or most likely, threats that you as a woman will have to face. Statistically speaking, most women that encounter violence or sexual assault are assaulted by someone they know. I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of statistics, but as a minimum in order to be able to effectively protect yourself...

...you should know that 40% of all rapes take place in a victim's home, and another 20% take place in a friend or relatives home. Also, approximately 70% of rape victims know their attacker. Therefore, from a women's sel-defense standpoint, you have to be aware of where and to whom you are most vulnerable in order to protect yourself effectively.

The bottom line is this, no matter what the statistics say, when it comes to effective and reliable women's self-defense training, each woman has her own unique life, and therefor will have to be prepared to protect herself somewhere she normally finds herself.

That means that, if you;re ever attacked, everything will depend on your own unique situation. The risk factor and most dangerous places for a single woman going to college will be different than for a woman in a stable marriage - who is a homemaker. However, that does not mean one should not have a plan for a place that they are unlikely to encounter something, because you always have to be prepared.

In reality, if you are a woman and you are isolated from everything or everyone else, then you need to have a plan of defense in place. You need to know the critical principles and concepts upon which all tactics, techniques and strategies are built, so that you can create a sound plan of escape, evasion, or counter-attack should you need to.

Unfortunately, the most likely place for any woman to be assaulted or raped is in her own home, in a friend's home, or in the surrounding area. Other places that are dangerous for women are their workplace, public parks, parking garages, colleges etc... A lot of places do not have to be desolate or dark to have to protect yourself. You could be walking at the park, a van drive up, someone jump out, pull you in, and drive off. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

The question is, as a starting point, do you have a plan of action for each of the places that are close to home, in your home, or familiar to you? After all, these are the places that will give you the greatest advantage over your attacker! Everything else becomes more and more difficult due to the unfamiliarity and disorientation that you will be facing.

After identifying the location(s) where you will be the most vulnerable, you need to identify the people who put you at the most risk. In actuality, if you have never had an incident with that person before, then you really do not know if they are a threat or not. Usually more often than not, it is someone you are either related too, know professionally, a friend or an acquaintance. Please know that I'm not out to make you paranoid about the people in your life. Just prepared.

If you think it will be difficult to strike, kick, or break the body of a complete stranger - if you can just imagine the shock and disbelief of being attacked by someone you've never met...

...imagine what that's going to feel like when the attacker turns out to be someone you know and love?

Have you ever heard someone say that it seems like family and friends will cheat you before a stranger does? The reason for that is because they are the ones that you trust the most, and you let them get closer to you than you ever would a stranger.

In the context of women's self-defense, the same is true; except that you are trusting them with something much more valuable than money... your life.

I will also say it again; that does not mean you rule out strangers and go around in public with your "eyes wide shut". This also doesn't mean that you should alienate everyone in your life.

What I mean is that to protect yourself with a balanced, aware, and objective women's self-defense attitude and mindset, you must understand, that the people you know could end up being the most likely culprits. If you have one of your acquaintances that stops by when he knows your home alone, they could be looking for an opportunity. It could also be a stranger saying he needs to make a call because his car broke down.

Either way, when that women's self-defense sixth-sense kicks in (regardless of where you are), make sure that you listen to it. Do not feel pressured or be "guilt-ed" or coerced into allowing them to come into your home. Listen to your intuition and, when the hair on the back of your neck raises, it means you're in danger and someone has a bad intention for you. Regardless though...

...with the proper training in effective and practical women's self-defense techniques, tactics, strategies and skills - you "will" be able to protect yourself.

Effective women's self defense requires more than just a few "karate moves." It involves the ability to think strategically, and understand how to defend yourself with as little wear-and-tear on you as possible - against an attacker who will be bigger, stronger, and determined to succeed!